After a night out with friends, I woke up being hard on myself. I kept going over things I wished I had said. The morning was gray, and my mood matched it. I knew I needed some care, so I went to get coffee and planned a walk at our local marsh.
At the store I ran into a friend I admire. She asked me a personal question, and I answered more honestly than I expected to. Back in the car, everything I had been feeling that morning came up, along with years of loneliness, and I cried.
The wind carried me
At the marsh I sat for a minute and caught my breath, then started down the trail. About five minutes in, I heard my spirit guide say, “Run.” I trusted it and ran. With every step my thoughts got clearer, and it felt like the wind was carrying me.
I ended up on a narrow trail I never take, out into the bay. At the end was a big flat rock, sitting right where an old railroad bridge used to be. I sat down to meditate, and it reminded me of something I have been shown many times. I am a bridge, between worlds and between different kinds of people.
In that meditation, a song about the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine came on. I saw Jesus and Mary Magdalene surrounded in gold light, and I felt Archangel Metatron sitting behind me, holding me. My sadness turned into tears of healing and joy.
“It is a gift”
On the way back, I found a large feather lying in the middle of the path. It looked like it had just fallen. I heard the words, “It is a gift.” A little further on was a second feather, lying the same way but pointing in the other direction. Holding them together, I thought of the masculine and feminine coming back into balance. Then two turkey vultures glided low beside me, a pair, and their wings looked just like my feathers.
At home I burned cedar the way my ancestors did, held the feathers up to the sky, and gave thanks. I still keep them on my altar, and I use them when I clear energy. They help me feel lighter.
The hard feelings were the doorway. Letting them crack me open is what let the gift in.
Next time you’re out in nature and something heavy comes up, try letting yourself feel it. Then let the wind take what it can.
